I don't know what happened...the day was going fine, and then downhill I began to roll. No matter how hard I tried to stop, I just kept rolling...faster and faster. I began to get very down and extremely overwhelmed. Seriously, I just wanted to "go home."
We decided to go to eat Mexican tonight. I was watching all these groups of people coming in together. They were laughing and talking and having a great time. I started to feel sick. The four of us were just sitting there, and we were watching everyone around us...it was strange. My mom called during dinner, and the second I heard her voice, I started crying. Yes, right in the restaurant...the tears started flowing.
I could not get "home" off my mind today.
As we were driving back, a friend I have known since I was five-years-old sent me a text asking how New York was treating me. I told her that I just wanted to go home. She asked if she could call and pray with me. She did, and it was so powerful. I immediately felt some relief.
I moved from Kentcky to Illinois exactly 25 years ago. My friend that prayed with me tonight was my best friend there. When I moved we were absolutely devastated and wondered how we would even survive! Now, 25 years later, she is helping me cope with another move. Sharon, you are a treasure.
If I could be granted anything right now, it would be that my kids would meet other kids and connect with them. It physically hurts me to watch my son play alone, all day long. He is bored, acting out, and seems almost angry. Never, not even one time in his entire life, has he everbeen descrbed that way. He doesn't want to talk about it. My heart is breaking for him...it is literally breaking.
I just feel completely helpless in this situation...especially with my son, because he just does not understand this, and I am watching him struggle, which may be the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.
I am asking for prayers for my children. Please pray that the Lord will bring other people into their lives that are good influences and will be great friends to my kids.
How long will it take for them to adjust? By adjusting, does one just accept it and lose a part of themselves, or does acceptance bring closure? Do we want closure? I just don't know. I am so exhausted and confused right now.
Good night...
Heather it will take time to adjust. It has not even been a week. But no when you adjust you do not have to lose who you are... you just have to embrace it and gain a new part of yourself. Years from now you will not look back and say who am I, where is the old me. You will see the old you just much stronger, smarter, more loving! God is in control and has He ever let you down?
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