I am using my blog today to celebrate my marriage to the greatest man on earth. This Saturday, August 20, we will have been married for 17 years.
What an amazing journey we have taken together! How blessed we are to have found each other in the hallways of Stephen Decatur High School! It had nothing to do with luck or coincidence; my parents began praying for my future spouse when I was just a small child, and God answered their prayers.
I started a new school my sophomore year of high school. I went from a small private school to a large public school. I was overwhelmed and a nervous wreck. I always enjoyed history class because the teacher was so personable. There was a boy in my class that, I could tell, found me attractive. There was no way he could have "liked" me, because we hadn't met, but he definitely stared at me a lot. It was obvious to the teacher as well. She liked to have us work in groups, and she would always smile as she was selecting the groups as she made sure we were in the same group. I had a boyfriend at the time, so I wasn't interested, but this boy in history class certainly began to grow on me.
He told me, yearas later, that he would stand back and watch as I walked down the hall. He can even remember certain outfits that I wore! Honestly, when he tells me these stories, I just can't stop smiling. They're priceless. He said, "One day you were walking down the hall. I was standing with a friend and we were watching you. I told my friend that I was going to marry you someday." Priceless! At that point, I don't even think we had spoken two words to each other!
We became friends. We enjoyed each other's comany immensely. We wanted to spend every waking moment together! We both loved adventure and to "walk on the wild side" a little too much.
Even as friends, he would mention another girl, or hang out with another girl, and I could literally feel my blood boil! Why? He wasn't even my boyfriend but, still, I felt like he was mine! He was the exact same way. One day, junior year, I rode home from school with another boy. It was no big deal...just a ride home from school. Well, it was a big deal to B (my future husband). He came over a few minutes after the boy dropped me off. He asked me why I rode home with him and I replied, "Why not?"
He threw my science book on top of the roof! We still laugh about this story.
Finally, B and I decided we had played enough games. We were going to "go out." In other words, we were going to let the world know that we were officially boyfriend/girlfriend. Life was grand. We were two teenagers in love. Then, a slight problem...
He had told his dad that he would move to Auburn, IL his senior year to play basketball for their team. The time came for him to move, and it was brutal. We didn't have cell phones, texting, facebook, or any of those luxuries. So, after junior year, he moved. He came home as often as he could, but we missed each other terribly. Summertime was ending. We were preparing to enter our senior year of high school. It was a Sunday afternoon, and he was with me and had gone to church with my family that morning. His school was starting the very next day. We were both feeling down.
Out of nowhere he said, "I can't do this."
I said, "What do you mean? You are all registered to start school tomorrow!"
He replied, "I can't. I want to move back. I'm going to go to school here. I need to go talk to my mom I'll call you in a little while."
He left, and I was pacing, nervous, and confused. What in the world was he planning to do?
Well, that night, he was back at my house! He moved home with his mom! Oh, happy day! We were thrilled that we would be starting our senior year together!
School began, and as each day progressed, our love grew. I remember one night sitting with B at my parent's house. We told them that we planned to get married. They said, "That's fine...after college." Well, that wouldn't be a problem! We were already seniors. We'd go to the same college, get our degrees, get married, and the rest would be history. That was our "plan" anyway.
In November of our senior year, I began to feel sick. I was exhausted and would feel sick every morning as I tried to get ready for school. I would get sick again before lunch. By the time I got home from school, all I wanted to do was to go to bed. Finally, it hit me. Could I be pregnant?
I took a test one Saturday afternoon while Brock was at basketball practice. He played varsity basketball at our high school and he was amazing...a natural talent. I loved watching him play ball, and I still do.
Anyway, the test confirmed my greatest fears. I was pregant.
We were 17 and scared, but we already loved the precious baby growing inside of me. Brock assured me that everything would be alright, as he always does, and I believed him, as I always do.
It was tough. We told our families and our friends. We continued to go to school and concentrate on our grades and extracurriculars. It became almost impossible. Brock was still on the basketball team. I would climb to the top of the bleachers, with my growing belly sticking out for the world to see. The glares and stares were hard to accept. Finally, B recieved a bad grade in calculus. His teacher said that he had even been sleeping in class. He was kicked off of the basketball team because of his grade. Our stress level was beginning to rise at an alarming rate.
We decided that we wanted to get married right away. Brock actually had a scholarship to play basketball at a college outside of our city. He knew it wouldn't work out. He knew he would need to go to the community college, so that we could remain close to home and our parents. We needed their guidance. So, he did not accept it. Our baby was due in July. It was important for me to remain on my parent's insurance plan for the baby's birth. Otherwise, we wouldn't have been able to pay for it all. So, since the baby was due in July, we chose August to get married. August 20 sounded like a splendid wedding date. So, we began making preparations for the our baby's arrival and our wedding day.
Christmas was approaching, which meant a much needed break from school. I was looking very pregnant. I grew fast! I began to dread school because of the whispers, taunts, finger pointing and double-mindedness. I decided it would be best for me to finish up my senior year at the vocational center. I was only 1/2 credit short from graduating. It would just be easier. So, I registered and started right ater Christmas break ended.
Finally, graduation from high school was upon us! A friend told me that at school that day they had their heads measured for their graduation caps. It hit me that I would not be graduating on stage, but I would just go sit in the audience and see B walk across the stage. After school, he came over and I asked him about the graduation information they had received.
He said, "I don't know. I'm not graduating on stage."
"B, just go ahead and do it. You might as well." I said.
He replied, "If you're not, then neither am I."
It was just one more example of B being completely selfless. On graduation night, we went and had a nice dinner out with our parents. We both had our high school diplomas. It was May of 1994 and we were high school grauduates!
(My blog is turning into a novel, so I'm going to try to be brief.)
Yes, we were high school graduates with no money and a baby on the way.
Our precious baby was born on July 1. She was simply out-of-this-world unbelievably perfect and we fell deeply in love with her right away.
Now...to pay for this new little bundle! I called the hospital and asked them if I could set up a payment plan.
The secretary said, "Sure, how much are you planning to pay each month?"
Hesitantly, I replied, "Ten dollars."
To our surprise, she agreed to it! Perfect!
I continued to live at home with my parents after the baby was born, and B slept there on the couch so that he could help in the middle of the night. He started working full-time at a construction site. My dad got him the job. We needed to try to save as much money as possible before the wedding.
August 20, 1994 was a day to remember. It's a day I will always cherish. Brock and I were married! He became my husband, I became his wife, and we had a beautiful seven-week-old daughter. We were a family! Whether we were rich or poor, having good times or bad, or sick or healthy...we promised it was forever.
With very little money, our honeymoon consisted of driving an hour away to Bloomington, IL. We stayed in a hotel there Saturday night and Sunday night. We left at 6AM on Monday morning because B had his very first college class at the community college and it started at 8AM.
The honeymoon was over!
We were living with B's mom. She lived alone and had a three bedroom home, so it was nice to have an affordable (free) and loving place to live. B was in college full-time and working odd jobs. I was staying home with our baby. It was working out; however, we felt we needed to try to find our own place. We applied for government assisted apartments, which means the rent is based on one's income. Finally, we got a letter stating that we had an apartment! So, seven months after we got married, we had our own place. We were thrilled! Everything was falling into place!
For the next four years we lived in our goverment subsidized apartment. At times, Brock would work full-time and attend school part-time, and then he would go back to school full-time and work part-time. He worked so hard to provide for us. He worked in the tire department at Sams Club, he tutored kids in math and he drove a fork lift for awhile. If we would be short on money he would sell his baseball cards, or whatever else we could come up with just to make a few extra bucks. I babysat kids in our apartment. Some days, there would be our daughter plus five or six others running around our small apartment.
Every day we struggled, every day we were tired, and every day we felt hopeless, was just one more step closer to reaching our goals.
Finally, after four years in the apartment, we knew that we needed to do whatever it took to get Brock through school. He needed about one more year of attending full-time and working only part-time in order to get his college degree. We moved back in with Brock's mom for about six months so that we could save every penny. Brock worked, went to school, and finally received an excellent internship with the company that he currently works for. It was a PAID internship! We bagan looking for houses to buy. On our budget, we knew it would'nt be easy, but we were determined.
Graduation day was approaching, Brock found a job, and we had a house! Yes, the location of the house was probably considered "the ghetto," but it was still our house! My husband was a college graduate! He had so much going against him, but he fought through it all. He would not take "no" for an answer.
I saw all of the nights he stayed up the entire night to study for a huge test because he had been working so many hours that he had not had time to study. I saw the times he applied for jobs only to be turned down. I saw every time he didn't know where our next dollar was going to come from. I always saw determination in his eyes. He never gave up. He was mighty.
I began taking classes at the community college. I took our daughter with me to the preschool they offered there. She loved it. During my breaks from classes, I would go get her out of her class and we would have lunch together in the cafeteria or just walk around the campus. They were some of the sweetest times. We would share a coke from the machine, and we were two happy girls.
When she started kindergarten, I had achieved my associate in arts degree and wanted to go on to receive my bachelor's degree in education. My husband was working full-time at his job and helping me achieve my goals now. He would tutor me in my math classes (I am HORRIBLE in math). He would stay up late with me so that I could study. I hate staying up alone. I took day and evening classes, so often times he would be at home alone at night with our daughter as I pursued my degree. It was the longest two years! I wondered if I'd ever get my degree! So often, I just felt like giving up.
B would say, "You've got this! You can do this!" He was right!
I graduated in May of 2002 with a bachelor's degree in secondary education and acquired a job right after graduation in a high school in our city. We were both employed! We were both college graduates!
I can't begin to describe the amount of tears, determination, and frustration those first seven years consisted of. Looking back now, though, we view those years of living in our government subsidized apartment as some of our best. We laughed, cried, learned, grew, and began raising our amazing daughter there. It was filled with so much love.
We were happy the day we were able to move from the "ghetto" to a more regular neighborhood! Our hard work was paying off. We gave God all the glory for it. He always provided for us. He was always there for us. He saw every tear, every smile, every frustrated sigh...He was always taking care of us. Also, much credit must be given to our families. They were our "rocks." They cheered for us! They loved us through each and every difficult moment and triumphant event!
B and I were, and still are, each other's biggest fans. He is my cheerleader and I am his. We were thrilled in the beginning of 2003 when we decided to expand our family to four! We finally had the money and resources to do it! We had even paid off the birth of our daughter! After years of paying $10 per month to the hospital, you can imagine our pride and delight when we were able to just write a check for the balance!
We were on a mission: a baby mission! I was still teaching and our daughter was in fourth grade. After a couple of months of "trying," I became pregnant! We were so thrilled! I took several tests. It was awesome! I felt sick, my breasts hurt so badly...YES! All of the signs were there! I was getting up every morning at 5AM to run before I would get ready to go to work. One morning, a couple of months into my pregnancy, I began my run and I thought to myself, "How strange, my boobs don't hurt." It was an eerie feeling. I went to work, and about halfway throught the day, I starting bleeding...heavily. I knew I was losing the baby. I left work and the doctor tested my pregnancy hormones and confirmed my fear.
B, our daughter and I were devastated. My daughter cried and cried. That night we went to Moncials Pizza and ate ourselves sick and then got Ben and Jerry's ice cream and ate all of it.
The doctor soon gave the go ahead to continue trying to have a baby. Months passed. I was underweight from stress and exercising all of the time. The holidays approached. We enjoyed Thanksgiving and Christmas and all of the food that accompanied them. I put on about seven pounds, and voila...I became pregnant again! I believe my body was healthy and ready to conceive. Nine months later, we became parents for the second time to a son. He was born in September of 2004. My fabulous husband was a daddy again.
He is, without a doubt, the world's greatest dad. (Yes, those t-shirts were designed around him...)
I decided to quit my teaching job and stay at home full-time. My husband is so understanding and considerate. He knew how badly I wanted to stay home with our new baby; however, it was going to be a pay cut! We were going from two salaries back down to one. We decided that we would just cut back in any way possible. We had survived on nothing, so we could definitely make it work on just his salary alone.
We've spent the past six years raising our children, watching them grow, and loving them through life. B continued working and I continued staying home...and working! We always put God first. We pray about the steps we make and the paths we take.
Brock was asked to take the job in NY in October of 2010. We decided to pray about it. My first instinct was to literally scream, "NO!" My family, friends, home, and life was in Illinois.
The more I prayed, the more convinced I was that we were supposed to go. My husband, the love of my life, had been given this amazing opportunity, and he deserved the chance to take it. He has always been there for me. Whether anxiety or depression, physical sickness, or simply daily struggles, he is right next to me, pushing me along, cheering for me, and loving me.
In our 17 years of marriage, I've been fat, skinny, had short hair, long hair, and gone from a cute little teenager to a mother of two in her mid thirties. His love for me has only grown.
The teenage boy that I fell so madly in love with is now a successful, Godly man. He is brilliant. He's the most loving father. He plays his husband role to perfection, and I'm not always easy to please! He listens to me, comforts me, and only wants the best for me. He has my back in any situation. He is my best friend and the most amazing lover. Really, is there a better combination? I don't think so!
From sharing my ice cream cake on my 16th birthday, to this weekend when we'll be celebrating our anniversary with some delicious desserts, the last 17 years of my life have been blessed beyond measure.
The boy of my dreams is now the man of my dreams, and he always will be.
Happy 17th Anniversary, B! You really are my better half.
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