On June 6, 2011, our sixth day in New York, we decided to try a local Mexican restaurant in hopes that we would have a taste, not only of spicy heaven, but also...of home. We went to the restaurant, desperate, homesick, and extremely lonely. I ended up receiving a phone call from my mom during our dinner, starting crying as soon as I heard her voice, and we had to leave the restaurant. My heart was literally aching. My mind was asking, "What have you all done?"
I decided I was going to avoid that restaurant. Maybe it was a mind game I was playing with myself without even realizing it. Maybe it was a coping mechanism. Who knows. About a month ago I did visit the restaurant with my husband, but I did not go in. We sat in the outdoor seating. It, literally, was too painful to go inside. I could still visualize the place we were sitting in June of 2011, and the looks of sorrow on my children's faces, and the empty space in my soul.
Last night, I took the plunge. My husband asked where I wanted to go for dinner and I said, "Let's do Mexican!" He said, "Here? At our Mexican restaurant?" Confidently, I replied, "Yes!"
We were seated, as coincidence would have it, right across from our "former" seats. The restaurant was full of people thrilled to be out celebrating something as simple as Saturday night! I took a deep breath, relaxed, and settled into my chair. I looked at my husband and he knew exactly what I was thinking: I did it! I'm here and I'm happy!
As we were stuffing our faces, our daughter drove by with a friend from Illinois. She was showing her best friend around our town and the surrounding areas. She takes pride in it, and it thrills me. The last time we had dinner here, my mom called and I burst into tears, but not this time. Instead, I received a text from a wonderful friend here in New York, and this individual was headed to our house to hang out for awhile. A friend! That was something I missed terribly last June, and, now, I have made amazing friends and met so many fabulous people. God really is watching out for me and knows what I need!
We thoroughly enjoyed, what we refer to as, our "celebratory dinner."
We have a lot to celebrate...the bond my family of four share, our old friends and our new friends, our strength and our adjustment to what life directs our way.
| Mark Twain, so full of wisdom, said, "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't' do than by the ones that you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." Mr. Twain, I've thrown off the bowlines, and I have certainly sailed away from my safe harbor. The trade winds are caught up in my sails and I'm exploring, dreaming, and discovering so many wonderful things, people, places and ideas! Thank you, Lord, for courage. |
