I can't believe it's been over 100 days since my last post! When visiting Illinois during Christmas, one of my daughter's wise friends said, "I love reading your blog, but when the posts stopped coming daily, I was happy because I knew you were getting comfortable."
Maybe she's right!
I am definitely becoming quite acclimated to my community, and that is a rewarding feeling. As an adult, it is never easy meeting people when you have no contacts, no connections. I still have days with tears for what "once was," but they don't happen very often, and it is largely due to my friend, Rosemary.
As I moved to New York with my family in June due to my husband's job, Rosemary moved with her family to New York in July, from Canada, due to her husband's job. I went to my son's school for a "New Family Orientation." Fortunately, we ended up in the same tour! We were both feeling lost, confused, and lonely. We were a perfect pair!
We exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. Later that week, I got a text from her, we met for coffee, and we became instant companions. She knew exactly what I was going through, and the feeling was mutual.
I always tell my daughter that everyone needs, "that person," and as long as you have him or her, then you are genuinely blessed. "That person" is the one you call for coffee at the spur of the moment, or invite yourself over to their home to sit around and talk, or for any late night or last minute Target run. I'm sure you all know exactly what I'm referring to, and you're picturing "your person" in your mind right now! My "that person" was Rosemary.
My sister met Rosemary when she was here visiting me from Illinois. She fell in love with her and said, "Heather, you and Rosemary are like the odd couple. That's why it works so well!"
It was obvious what she meant. Rosemary has dark auburn hair with bright, brown eyes. I am blonde and blue-eyed. Rosemary is refined and educated on so many of the finer things in life. She is soft spoken and relatively calm.
I, on the other hand, am loud, simple, and overdramatic.
She introduced me to fine food and fabulous clothing brands that I had never ever heard of! I introduced her to diner food and Xhilaration brand from Target!
What did we have in common? Well, we are both under 5 ft. 3, which never ceased to make a shopping excursions hilarious. We both have children, and we had both undergone a major transition in our lives.
Since meeting in August, she has rejoiced with me in my triumphs and successes, and I have done the same for her. Equally important, she has literally pulled strength out of my soul when I didn't think I had any left. When Rosemary is feeling down and stressed, she knows she has to get out of the house. She would call me and we would go out exploring. We found so many amazing restaurants, fabulous shopping spots, and beautiful landscapes in New York. Then, by the time we picked our kids up from school, she was feeling better!
She soon discovered that when I am down, I tend to withdraw. I remember one time in particular. I had just had "enough." I'm sure we've all been there one time or another. It seemed as if nothing was going right. I missed my family. I didn't feel like I was "fitting in" like I did in Illinois. I was having horrible headaches most of the day, every single day. She was texting and I was giving excuses as to why I couldn't go out. Really, I just didn't want to get out of bed. I was struggling mentally and physically and I felt a million miles away from everything I knew.
What did Rosemary do? She texted, "Come on, we're going to the gym." I responded with, "No, I think I'll hang out here today. My head hurts." She replied, "I will be at your house in 15 minutes to drive us to the gym." So, I got up, got dressed, and we were off!
Thankfully, she knows me well!
This past Wednesday, Rosemary called and invited me over for coffee and conversation. She had been acting strange. She seemed distant on Monday and Tuesday...completely preoccupied. I was even beginning to wonder if I had somehow offended her.
Upon arriving, I looked at Rosemary and knew immediately there was a problem. Teary eyed she said, "Heather, we're moving."
I said, "Oh no you're not!" (I wasn't kidding!)
But, she was. Her husband's job was being transferred.
We sat at her kitchen table sipping coffee and being sad. Finally, Rosemary smoothed things over as she always does. She said, "I guess it is what it is. We are healthy, and we should be thankful that our husband's have jobs. We have to just be thankful."
I said, "You're right. We have to keep on keepin' on."
That night, the two of us went out late and treated ourselves to a steak dinner. I guess stress makes us hungry. Ok...to be fair, she had a half portion of salad and still took home leftovers, and I had the entire steak dinner.
Sometimes life can be difficult and seem so unfair. Death, major moves, sickness, anxiety, and even simple normal life stressors can, at times, become overwhelming; however, my friendship with Rosemary has taught me a very important lesson: Count your blessings...no matter what. The situation, no matter how intense or insignificant, isn't the problem. How we react to the situation is key to our failure or success. We must learn to search and seek out the blessing in it every situation.
Rosemary and her wonderful family will be moving from New York at the end of June. We decided that we were going to squeeze every bit of fun out of the next four months! We won't dwell on the move. Instead, we will just enjoy life together.
This season of our friendship will be over soon, and another season of our friendship will begin. I know the season well. I refer to it as the season of "technology." If you live away from anyone you love, you probably know it well, too. It consists of cell phone conversations, texting, Facebook, and Skype. It's certainly not as easy as having "that person" that is physically there on a daily basis; however, I have seen some of my relationships with people in Illinois get stronger since we moved. So, it is possible!
So, here's to a fun four months, and technology, and learning to "go with the flow" no matter how big or small the situation.
Thanks for the life lesson, constant companionship, and the hours of fun, Rosemary.
No comments:
Post a Comment