Friday, July 29, 2011

Day 55--Greener Grass

As  I was strolling through status lines on facebook this morning one, in particular, stood out to me.   It echoed so many other facebook status lines and converstaions I have read or had over the years.  It read:

"Sometimes when I read status updates, I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't have it all together.  Am I doing something wrong?"

After this was posted, many people responded to her.  They were all explaining that facebook is just a place for people to brag and make their lives seem perfect, when, really, none of us have a perfect life.

It's so easy to feel the way my sister felt this morning.  I feel it almost every day.  Sometimes while on facebook, sometimes while at the grocery store, sometimes when watching television, and there are countless other examples. 

Maybe the grass really is greener on the other side.

It is so easy to simply skim an individual up and down with a quick glance, and then make all sorts of assumptions about his or her life.  We think things like, "Wow, they must have tons of money...must be nice."  Other days, on facebook, we think things like, "This girl has already worked out, cleaned her house spotlessly, and she's leaving for a ten day vacation tomorrow...I'm still in my pajamas with a messy house!  How does she manage this?"  Honestly, I've even been guilty of thinking things like, "She has definitely had a boob job; those can't be real!"

It is so easy to have "the grass is greener on the other side" mindset.  It is everywhere.  We live in a "keeping up with the Jones's" society.  We want bigger, better and faster, and then we want everyone else to know about it. 

The Bible is so clear about the dangers of coveting our neighbor.  Why is that so difficult.  Often times, as humans, in our sinful nature, when we hear of a job promotion, or an aquaintance's wonderful vacation, or someone building a big new house, as much as we want to be happy for them, we struggle.  Even if we are genuinely excited for the person or family, we still harbor jealousy. 

The bottom line is this:  No individul has greener grass than you or I.  They really don't. 
Every single person we pass on the street is fighting some kind of battle.  They have either gone through it, are going through it, or will go through it. 

Money certainly doesn't make one happy.  It can allow for more opportunity and more "things," but that's it.  Some of the wealthiest people I know are also the most miserable.  Let's take a look at celebrities.  They are millionaires.  They have people at their beck and call to do whatever they ask them to do.  They have personal assistants, personal trainers, nannys, and more.  It sounds like a perfect life from someone on the outside looking in, but is it?
Check out the magazine racks the next time you are in the grocery store.  These same celebrities I referred to above are suffering from addictions, divorce, sickness, losses, etc...
It is disheartening.  I envy them when I see them on a crystal clear beach somewhere soaking up the sun, but I pity them when I see them on the cover of a magazine as they are entering rehab.

Think about this power couple:  Jo Lo and Marc Anthony.  Recently, I witnessed them on American Idol dancing and singing together.  It was HOT!  They were staring into eachother's eyes and putting on quite a show!  I was thinking, "Wow...they are totally in love and and are going to go home tonight after this show and get it on!"
Days later, I heard they were separating.  It was everywhere.  I heard it on the news (as if we don't have any BIG newsworthy stories right now), I read it in magazines, and I listened to it on the radio.  Everyone was in shock!  Jo Lo and Marc Anthony??  This can't be!
The night of the dance at American Idol, they really were doing nothing but putting on a show.  They have everything!  They have money, beautiful twins, fame, beauty...what was missing?

Consider social media such as facebook for a bit.  We put what we feel on our facebook status lines and everyone reads it.  I read status lines such as, "I ran ten miles today.  Who wants to meet later and work on our abs and buns?"  Some days, people will post pictures of themselves or their vacations or their families.  I sit and ponder, "Why can't I look more like her?  It looks like her family vacations are nothing but peace and quiet.  Her kids must never fight!  It sure does look like she's had a recent boob job!"  Other days, when I am feeling unmotivated, I'll come across a status line that reads, "My house is spotless.  My kids are down for naps while I bake brownies.  When they wake up, we are leaving for our Disney Cruise!"
I begin to think that my life is very unexciting.  I feel like everyone else has it all together.  Do they ever struggle?  Do they ever feel overwhelmed and just want to curl up in the fetal position and cry a river?

My status line this morning read something like this:

"I'm drinking a perfect cup coffee, my son is having a great time with his new cat, and my daughter's friend just have her tickets to a Yankees game!  All of these blessings make the "not so great" parts of life seem so much smaller."

That was all true; however, later in the day, if I wouldn've written a completely honest status line, it would've sounded like this:

"My husband wants to take us out for pizza tonight, but I really don't want to because I already feel so fat.  I can't even begin to explain the painful and strange sensations that are running crazy in my forehead.  It causes me to be so anxious that I have a hard time catching my breath and it actually feels like my throat is closing up.  I haven't met many people here yet, and some days, I feel like I don't exist at all.  What the heck am I supposed to do with my life?"

Yes, that would have been my afternoon/early evening status line, but who wants to hear that?  Do we really want people to be brutally honest anyway? 
Honestly on facebook, when people do brutally honest status lines, I am guilty of thinking, "Yikes!" 

Let's focus on beauty for a moment.  What even is beauty?  The world has told us what is beautiful and what isn't, and we have listened!  It used to be "in" to be heavy.  Now, the government is tossing around the idea of taxing junk food! (Scary, huh!)  Models are so thin now that they are literally starving themselves and droppind dead in their twenties!  Men should be tall, muscular, and have nice teeth.  Women should be tall, thin but curvy, and have big fake boobs (I'm thinks VS models here).  We should be strong, but not too strong.  That's what "they" say, at least.  It's what we see in the magazines. 
I was watching a beauty pageant once.  The contestant on stage was asked a question.  I don't remember the question, but I remember her answer.  She replied, "There will always be prettier people than me, and uglier people than me.  I just have to hope the prettier person isn't standing next to me on stage."
Wow!  That was bold, but she was just being honest about how she felt. 
I'm certainly guilty of comparing myself to others.  The Bible is clear about us now doing that simply because the Lord knew it could be tortorous for us.  There will always be prettier people!  I get all dressed up to go out with my husband.  I work on my makeup, my hair, and  pick out my favorite outfit.  I feel pretty; however, it never fails...we get to our destination and we are seated next to a "really" pretty woman. 
Then what happens?
I feel insecure.  I don't feel pretty anymore.  I begin to wish I was taller, had longer legs, bigger boobs, larger lips, etc...
Yes, this is crazy, but this is also an honest blog.  I'm sure if some of you were completely honest, you would admit to the same types of feelings and insecurities.
Beauty fades.  Not one single person can escape that.  A person can have facelfits, but his or her neck and hands still look old and wrinkly.  Everyone ages, wrinkles, and starts to sag...eventually. 

So, is the grass really greener on the other side?
No way!  A person may have prettier features, be taller, be wealthier, have a better job, be famous, be wiser, or be the star athlete; however, that is simply a blade of grass in his or her life.  That blessing that the indivudual has isn't all of his or her "grass."  The grass is life.  Life is made up of ups, downs, triumphs, grief, tears and joy.  The blade, the tiny blade of grass, are those things that we envy about others.

I see a woman who has a dream job.  She is wealthy and has moved up the ladder of success at work.  It seems like she has it all together.
I start to think her grass is greener, but wait!
That's a nice, lucious green blade for sure.  All the rest of her grass...that's another story.  Her struggles and insecurities are endless.  She never gets enough sleep.  She doesn't have time for a social life.  She doesn't have time for her chilfren.  She fights with her husband because he wants to go out and she has to get work done at home.  She is always climbing, climbing, climbing, and every time she reaches the next level, she has to climb harder and faster.  More is exptected.  She looks fabulous in those business suits, but inside she feels hollow.
The job that we envy is a blade a grass, and everything else is the large yard of grass.  I don't want her yard of grass, although the one blade is appealing at times.

God sees us all as special and unique.  Everyone has their gifts and taents and also their insecurities and failures.  He loves us still the same, and He is no respector of persons.  He loves the lonely man at the homeless shelter just as must as he loves you and me.

No individual's grass is greener.  We all have a really thick, lucious, green blade or two, but the rest is just...LIFE!

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